Unwavering Compassion

Through out life's celebrations, hardships and tragedies, I have called upon my friends for support. From junior high heart aches, high school milestones, to adulthood's heart wrenching loss, my friends have always been my anchor. Each one so unique in the way they have helped guide me back from the dark.

However, I can't deny that there were moments I had closed myself off during the darkest of times. I withdrew and let grief and depression swallow me. If you have ever dealt with these things then you know they can lead you to a very lonely and isolating place. I felt that during these moments I was floating further and further down my own abyss; Left to my own demons, unsure if there ever was a way out.

It's difficult to open up to people who have never experienced that feeling of overwhelming despair and isolation.

There were times when it was completely necessary for me to be alone. That is where I found my inner strength, and faced my darkest demons. During those really trying times I could tell how much my friends tried to be there for me without pushing. Without trying too hard.

The simple, "how are you?" 

A kind message saying "Hey, I love you." 
Simple, short and sweet as those are, I knew the depth of care and concern that was behind them. It was all I needed some days.

Even in those times I managed to get up, pull myself together and go out, I still felt that heavy darkness wrapped around me like a trench coat. But, my friends' love and loyalty never wavered. They never truly pushed.

We may not have talked about the darkness encompassing me, but I knew they knew it was there. 

They were patient. 

When the time came when I needed to unload all the luggage that I was carrying around, they were right there attentive as ever. 

I do have extraordinarily amazing friends. I know how lucky I am. I'm so grateful for them that I'm not sure I could ever truly express my gratitude.

The funny thing about life is that although your friends can be that anchor, sometimes you may find support in the unlikeliest of places, for instance, in a stranger. You would be surprised who you can connect with. I have experienced this on numerous occasions. It just happens. You begin a conversation and before you know it you have picked up your heavy purse of emotions and dumped all your crazy out on the table and asked this complete stranger to rummage through it with you. Sometimes in the end, you walk away with a little less weight and are able to take that much more of a deep breath in.

The point is, grief, depression, loneliness, insecurity, or a sense of panic of the unknown are all things that are difficult to navigate through solo. Human connection can be so powerful we just have to be open to it. Even in the moments when all you want to do is wallow.

I recently came across this article by Lisa Genova and this quote stood out to me. It was too perfect not to share in this blog:

Sometimes, "How are you?" can be an opportunity to reveal some of what is genuine inside our carefully dressed and armored exteriors and to be seen, down to our complicated truths. It invites the possibility of a connection with another human being. By answering this invitation with what you are really feeling, you might be judged, pitied, ignored, shamed. That could happen. Or, you could realize you're sitting on a bench next to someone you love [connect to]. For me, that's worth the risk.

My final two cents is this...

Be the person who asks "how are you?" 

Be the person who responds and follows up with "how are you?"
(I know, a crazy concept!)

If someone inquires about your life, inquire about theirs.

Be the person who listens with an open mind and open heart.

Be the person you would want sitting next to you on that literal or metaphorical bench.

Best friend, friend, acquaintance, stranger, it doesn't matter. We are all human beings and taking a moment to shoot a smile at someone, say "hello", or "how are you?" can change someone's day! We are all fighting our own battles and at some point we are going to seek out recruits. We may do this knowingly or unknowingly, but these recruits give us the support we need to trudge through those many hardships life throws at us.

So, be attentive to your friends. 

Anticipate their needs. 

Always be on stand by.

It's not a matter of keeping score, it's a matter of returning the compassion that was once given to you. That level of concern and love someone showed you, show them or someone else.
BE MINDFUL.

Pay it forward.

I know I wouldn't have made it to this point in my life without the support of many. My door will forever be open, as well as my heart. I know the darkness and although my map to the light maybe very different than yours, I still will reach out my hand to help you.

Love and Light.